Seeing light in the dark

To say I've been having personal 'issues' would be putting it rather mildly but the main thing is that I'm addressing them with help from my partner, friends, doctor and, in their own way, my children.

Last Friday I decided to conduct a little social experiment at the same time as taking a break and getting my head together. I deactivated my Facebook account(s) and since then I haven't contacted anyone who hasn't contacted me first, (I'm not the hardest person to find if wanted)...

So how many people have contacted me since then out of around 100 'friends and family'? FOUR!! One of which told me to "man up" when I said that I needed a break to get my head together. Seriously?? Thanks a lot, MATE!! Anyway why would I want to be a man? :-P

Thank fk I have other real friends who are actually a lot more understanding and supportive.

In this time I've been doing lots of reading and watching films and studying *cough*, ok not so much studying but hey a few days off were needed! I even had what I can only describe as a moment of enlightenment at karate when my mind just went totally blank, free of everyone and everything and for a few seconds all my problems just disappeared.

One of my favourite videos is this > Bruce Lee - Be Water, My Friend 
so I thought I'd share, its something I like to have a look at on tough days.

Since I entered the pre-Facebook dark ages, as my best friend put it, I don't think I've ever seen things more clearer. Social networks aren't as social as they first appear and sometimes its good to take a step back and observe things outside the 'circle'. I feel pretty good about life away from it and to only have a few friends to speak to I feel much lighter and life looks brighter.

I'm looking forward to starting my job as a voluntary class assistant next month at the place where I completed a few part time courses before starting my degree. This will hopefully help me follow my dream of becoming a basic skills tutor in the future. On top of this my old numeracy tutor has been pushing me to apply for position of family learning tutor, I'm not a qualified tutor but he seems to think that the qualifications I do have show my potential. It's quite a boost to my confidence but I've had to say no. I'm just about to start my second year at uni and I really don't want to take too much on. After discussing it with my always supportive partner, I've decided to stick with my voluntary position and see what happens over the next year.

Slow and steady wins the race, I'm a firm believer in things happening when they are meant to and not before.

Sexuality

                                Photo found on https://www.facebook.com/ASI.BDSM

                                                    I think that pretty much covers it.

Life Rebegins

I've enjoyed blogging on and off for a number of years, recently on sites such as this and, in the past, more questionable adult sites. Few people know of my blogs on the latter and it was coming across the 'semi-secret' blog of someone that I know that made me think that perhaps it's time to enjoy a little secret or two of my own while enjoying their own at the same time.

When people ask me what I 'do' my first response is to say I'm a mum and, over the last year, a university student but this is not all I 'do'. This is just the tip of the iceberg, there's so much more that I 'do' and this blog is going to act as a gateway to my many identities that go beyond being a mum and a student...